I can see why. As a kid, I always thought that my name was really rather dull. It didn’t help that I had to share my name with my Dad, whilst my brother got James all to himself. I remember having an argument with my parents about the name situation. I wanted to know why they couldn’t be bothered to think of a different name for me. I honestly thought that they couldn’t be arsed to think of anything or got caught short when registering my birth and opted for solid, dependable, John. I was premature after all, so maybe they hadn’t got round to considering my name and as I’d come out early and forced the issue, John would have to do. It had served my Dad well all his life, so why not jinx me with it too? For many years, it really did feel like a second hand anorak that was slightly too good to toss out. Puh!
Back in 1976 when I hatched, John was quite a popular (ie. common) name. So not only did I have to share it with my Dad, but two other kids in my form at school, one of whom had yellow teeth and picked on me; the other had a weak bladder and pissed himself all the time… What with chubby old me completing the sorry trinity and suddenly the name seems to be more of a curse than anything else, eh?
Maybe I’m being harsh. Maybe it’s not too bad a name after all. Let’s face it, it could be worse. There are some terrible names out there. People called Derek, I’m looking squarely at you. Then you’ve got other corkers like Rodney (why? Akin to child abuse), Stewart (sounds like a brand of gravy), Darren (a bit chav-mella for my liking), Julian (sounds like something you’d call an orang-utan), Clive (sounds like something you’d call a cow), Dennis (probably why deed-poll was invented.) Comparatively speaking, John isn’t too bad, but as a name it lacks that certain something doesn’t it? Put it this way, if I was judging names, John wouldn’t make it to Boot Camp. As for Judges homes, forget it. Zestier names, like Shogun, Klub and Hobskog would be jostling for the X Factor name crown. Hmmm.
2 comments:
So after reading you blog re your name mine is pretty much The same Helen! Boring and named after my god mother. So whilst everyone else had cool names, names that could be abbreviated to something Cool I was always just Helen, not Ellen. Oh apart from my aunt who called me helley belly Which too didn't go down well considering I was on the larger side. Oh well our parents know best?
So after reading you blog re your name mine is pretty much The same Helen! Boring and named after my god mother. So whilst everyone else had cool names, names that could be abbreviated to something Cool I was always just Helen, not Ellen. Oh apart from my aunt who called me helley belly Which too didn't go down well considering I was on the larger side. Oh well our parents know best?
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